After intense speculation on social media last week, the cause of one of the most surprising scenes in the Vatican over the last few weeks may have finally been solved thanks to the investigative journalism of Darla Montana.
At first, no one believed that the videos of Leo XIV’s arrival in the Popemobile to a general audience with the soundtrack of ABBA’s “Dancing Queen” accompanied by a Vatican band were real.
The Dispatch
Some in attendance wondered if the papal band mixed up two pieces of music that start with the letter “D,” and intended “Dona Nobis Pacem” but played “Dancing Queen” by mistake.
Others theorized that the German bishops were trying to stage a fait accompli for their advanced synodal mind control experiments by blaring over the so-called “gay anthem” over the loudspeakers in the Vatican.
Whatever the case, no one knew what to make until veteran Vatican journalist Darla Montana uncovered the reason with one of her thousands of sources.
The culprit should have been obvious the entire time. It was, as we all probably could have guessed, the doing of Fr. James Martin S.J., editor of America magazine.
In an article published earlier today, Montana shared that she had three eyewitness accounts testifying to having seen the well-known Jesuit fiddling around in the sound booth of St. Peter’s Square before Pope Leo arrived.
“According to my sources,” added Ms. Montana, “Martin also arrived with a stack of his Building a Bridge books and a briefcase full of cash that he distributed to the papal band before quickly making an escape, but my informants had a good enough look at him that they’re absolutely certain it was him.”
Archbishop Viganò confirmed in a letter today that his sources in Rome also caught site of Martin running gleefully alway while humming, “Young and sweet, only seventeen, Feel the beat from the tambourine!”
“This is just the lavender mafia that controls the conciliar church laughing at us by singing it’s new version of Vespers,” Vigano commented in his statement.
The sentiment was echoed by Jackson Christopherson of Wistful in Exile in an article entitled “The Lavender Disco: How Fr. Martin Turned St. Peter’s Square into a Pride Parade” although other sites like TradNewsDaily took a less conclusive position, merely calling event a “Mostly Traditional Music Mix-Up.”
What we still aren’t sure on even with Darla Montana’s reporting is why no one was manning the sound system to stop Martin from assuming power and why certain elements of the crowd jumped in and sang along with the disco anthem.
“Where was the Swiss Guard?” queried Sophia Donaldson of CatholicSiteNews, whose theories on the matter range from the Swiss Guard attending a synodal listening session across the street to a rumor that they has already been replaced with “Swiss Community Liaisons” in a bid to reduce police based violence in the Vatican.
Some online commentators, like X user @PopesplainerFan233, think the reason no one did anything is because Pope Leo carries so much aura around him that everyone was focused on him instead of on the music.
But Michal Paszkiewicz, an expert on ressourcement and nouvelle theology, believes that much of the crowd in attendance at the papal audience actually had good reason to think the music was traditional.
“Dancing Queen, however, originates in the reign of Elizabeth II, it was a subversive song amongst Catholic recusants, referring to Mary Tudor, who loved to dance,” he argued.
The Synodal Sentinel’s experts are currently researching Paszkiewicz’s claim as well as another report forwarded to us that claims Andrea Grillo, a professor of theology at the Pontifical Athenaeum of St. Anselm in Rome, is ghostwriting a motu proprio with Mitch Louis of Where Peter Rests that will mandate “Dancing Queen” as a processional hymn, with a trial run in the Diocese of Charlotte set for as soon as Pentecost Sunday.
Fr. Martin has not been seen in public nor posted online since the event.
Also in the news this week at The Synodal Sentinel:
- Sources: Trump close to placing tariffs on Avoiding Babylon podcast
- Researchers discover 2,654 previously unknown Thuc-line bishops
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